Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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