look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We talked him into tasing himself.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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