D3 body, D1 cock
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
