i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i came on her dog
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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