There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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