Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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