I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
