so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
