Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
