I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
