Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
