do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
