i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I puked a lego.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
