she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
