How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
