During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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