oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
