so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
my liver is dry heaving
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
