He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Panties = found
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
