i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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