Have you finally orgasmed yet?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She even gives head with a lisp.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
