I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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