i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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