I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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