I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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