If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
