fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
