gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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