I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
