hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
