Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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