At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
