I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
