I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
