All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
two words: eviction party
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
