Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
