How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
