home. puking in laundry basket.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
