We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
