Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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