Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
