there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
