thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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