i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
