craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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