He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
