do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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