I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
