Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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