Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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