i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
