he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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