You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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