ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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